Our kids are proof that it is about educating only about the male/man & female/woman binary, and intersex erasure, that messes up the truth around natural bodily variations existing in us humans. You see, our children were taught that intersex bodies and transgender bodies existed. We educated them as soon as I realized I was not a disorder and was actually born intersex instead. Yup, they were taught about how a woman can have a penis and a man can have a vagina. A person can have genitals that in-between too, and it is ok. Nature creates all sorts of ways a human body can exist. They were also taught that sometimes a woman can be XY, a man can be XX, and those other chromosomal variations of human exist too, like XXY, XX/XY, XO and so many others. Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet, if you have never heard of intersex before.
You see, naturally, humans come with many variations of genitals, reproductive systems, chromosomes, and hormones. It simply is the way nature planned it all. We are a variety of human. It is that simple.
Our kids had to actually learn that the male/female binary is what the rest of the world believes. After learning about intersex, it blew their minds that there were just two options: Male or Female bodies.
Now, imagine teaching your children that you have been erased by this world.
That there is no box for me, few doctors that will see me even because I am taboo. It truly sucked for them, my husband and for me. They felt violated themselves and angry and scared for me! We lost our home trying to chase down a doctor, across the country that would treat me. Yes, I was medically abandoned by doctors and told I was no longer patient compliant when I refused to do what they asked me to appear female.
It is hard to explain to a child that there is NO box for their type of father. That it is the world that messed up. That it was not my body and not my hormones that went wrong.
My children naturally never felt it was ME who had to surgically conform to this world. I believe that most children naturally know we want our genitals the way we are born!
That is why when people asked: “how are your kids taking it?” when I emancipated my gender, we shared that they were HAPPIER! In the typical male/female binary world, it is devastating though. But most assumed otherwise and thought: “OMG! How horrible that those poor kids just lost their mother!” Typical people also immediately assumed I would be having genital conforming surgeries too when I do not. We can just imagine the gossip. We lost countless friends, who could not cope with it.
Everyone also assumed my husband, of twenty-eight years, would leave. I was so disabled and sick, that he too gained his sex partner back. I was asexual for over a decade, due to doctors giving me no choices. We had become roommates. So when people asked: “How is he taking it?”, it was an insult to me! Yes, things changed socially changed dramatically for our family, but it was not the end of the world. It was the beginning of a new healthier life as a couple! We also would not appear to the world as a gay couple!
To see more pictures of my husband and me together, please go to: I was born perfect, and I am lovable. Thank you, United Nations.
To an intersex person, like me, and some of my intersex friends, like Tiger Devore, gender is all a “gender performance”. A phrase that Tiger likes to use, and created to explain what I am saying here today. So, my kids did not lose a thing. They gained a healthier parent who now had a different gender performance for the world! I became “Vader” to them, another word for father.
I did not die when I faced certain death if I had continued on appearing female. It is the male/female binary world that thinks things are so rigid and so concrete that the sky falls when one changes that performance. And this is sadly why we lost so many friends and family.
The Mythical Hermaphrodite!
Some think me to be a mythical hermaphrodite too. Thanks to how this world brainwashed me too, all my life, I don’t feel magical, I feel like a guy with a ‘mangina’. A word that the famous transsexual, Buck Angel, says to describe his amazing male body. I feel like a gestational father too, words my intersex friend, Cary G. Costello, uses to explain away us guys who can grow a baby within our wombs. I am a “womb-man”, I was never a woman. I am a “seahorse dad”. For it is the seahorse father that gives birth. Our kids call my husband “Dad” and I am called “Vader” by them. Vader is a word like ‘father’. Here I write about the Difference Between Hermaphrodite and Intersex.
Added after this blog was published: Buck Angel talks about accepting his “mangina”/vagina here: How Learning to Love My Vagina Affirmed My Manhood By Buck Angel, March 20th, 2018.
So world, can you make room for the female penis too?
With us intersex people it exists Yup, my urologist calls it a penis now that my gender has changed to male! So that means, for forty-six years, before I appeared a male to this world I had a “female penis”. I am the same person, yet when I appeared female they denied calling it that. You can read this blog about the intersex ‘penis’ and all the shapes and sizes they come in: Eight Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphallus, Clitoromegaly, and Pseudo Penis
I know many intersex girls who have a penis, and this world should not threaten cutting it off either. Due to intersex erasure, eugenics (surgically taking away an intersex person’s fertility with non-consensual childhood surgery), and genocide (aborting us when detected before birth), most female penis’s or large clitoris get removed. I know many transgender girls too who have a female penis. They should not feel they have to lose theirs too, to be validated as real women. It sickens me that transgender children are taught to believe that they are in the wrong bodies, but that is another blog.
For us intersex people, Genital integrity is all we want. Our life as our ‘true selves’ is all we want. We simply just want the right to be LOVED the way we were born: INTERSEX! We simply want the human right to sexually experience OUR INTERSEX GENITALS, uncut and unharmed too.
The United Nations stands with us Intersex People now.
The United Nations declares that intersex erasure and the torture of non-consensual childhood surgeries stop! Coerced genital surgeries and sterilizations in Transgender and Intersex Adults need to stop too!
It is time to allow the female penis and the male vagina and without shame. No Body Is Shameful!
How to get help: World Wide Advocacy and Support for INTERSEX and TRANSGENDER People
A meme from InterACT, that I want to give more notice to, so include it in this blog.
A Woman’s PENIS and A Man’s VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.
Where did “assigned male/female at birth” come from?
Yes, it is true that “assigned male/female at birth” came from the intersex community first and the transgender community now uses it too. Some in the intersex community say the transgender community appropriated it. Let me explain why this hurt.
Typically an endosex person’s sex is observed at birth and simply written down. When born intersex a team is called in to assign the “best” sex. Taking away our self-determination. Wrong assignment has caused some of the worse human rights violations on the planet. In the form of intersex genital mutilation and psychic mutilation. Uisng the words “assigned male/female at birth” without sharing about our pain, can hurt.
However, with both endosex and intersex people, our gender identity and sex can be mistaken at birth. Plus, sometimes an intersex person calls themselves transgender too. No matter who we are, being assigned wrong at birth is tragic.
Let’s try to find peace as different community who are marginalized, and always remember the harm brought to non-consenting intersex kids. I believe we can all get along if we understand each other better. Please always share about us intersex people if you burrow our language. Intersex erasure hurts. https://anunnakiray.com/2021/02/07/where-did-assigned-male-female-at-birth-come-from/
FACT SHEET Intersex What does ‘intersex’ mean? Intersex people are born with sex characteristics (including genitals, gonads and chromosome patterns) that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies. Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural bodily variations. In some cases, intersex traits are visible at birth while in others, they are not apparent until puberty. Some chromosomal intersex variations may not be physically apparent at all. According to experts, between 0.05% and 1.7% of the population is born with intersex traits – the upper estimate is similar to the number of red haired people. Being intersex relates to biological sex characteristics, and is distinct from a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. An intersex person may be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual, and may identify as female, male, both or neither. Because their bodies are seen as different, intersex children and adults are often stigmatized and subjected to multiple human rights violations, including violations of their rights to health and physical integrity, to be free from torture and ill-treatment, and to equality and nondiscrimination. Physical integrity It has become common practice to subject intersex children to unnecessary surgical and other procedures for the purpose of trying to make their appearance conform to binary sex stereotypes. These often irreversible procedures can cause permanent infertility, pain, incontinence, loss of sexual sensation, and lifelong mental suffering, including depression. Regularly performed without the full, free and informed consent of the person concerned, who is frequently too young to be part of the decision-making, these procedures may violate their rights to physical integrity, to be free from torture and ill-treatment, and to live free from harmful practices. Such procedures are frequently justified on the basis of cultural and gender norms and discriminatory beliefs about intersex people and their integration into society. Discriminatory attitudes can never justify human rights violations, including forced treatment and violations of the right to physical integrity. States have a duty to combat harmful stereotypes and discrimination, rather than reinforcing them. Such procedures may sometimes also be justified on the basis of alleged health benefits, but these are often proposed on the basis of weak evidence and without discussing alternative solutions that protect physical integrity and respect autonomy. Unfortunately, such beliefs and societal pressures are often reflected by doctors, as well as parents of intersex children, who may encourage and/or give their agreement to such procedures, despite the lack of medical indication, necessity or urgency, and despite the fact that such procedures may violate human rights standards. Agreement is frequently given in absence of information on the short and long-term consequences of such surgery and lack of contact with peers, including intersex adults and their families. Many intersex adults exposed to such surgery as children emphasize the shame and stigma linked to attempts to erase their intersex traits, as well as significant physical and mental suffering, including as a result of extensive and painful scarring. Many also feel that they were forced into sex and gender categories that do not fit them. Given their irreversible nature and impact on physical integrity and autonomy, such medically unnecessary, unsolicited surgery or treatment should be prohibited. Intersex children and their families should receive adequate counselling and support, including from peers. Discrimination Intersex persons are often subjected to discrimination and abuse if it becomes known that they are intersex, or if they are perceived not to conform to gender norms. Anti-discrimination laws do not typically ban discrimination against intersex persons, leaving them vulnerable to discriminatory practices in a range of settings, including access to health services, education, public services, employment and sports. www.ohchr.org www.unfe.org Health-care professionals often lack the needed training, knowledge and understanding to take into account the specific health needs of intersex persons, provide appropriate healthcare, and respect the autonomy and rights of intersex persons to physical integrity and health. Some intersex people also face barriers and discrimination if they wish to or need to amend sex markers on birth certificates and official documents. Intersex athletes face a specific set of obstacles. There have been several cases of female intersex athletes who have been disqualified from sports competitions on the basis of their intersex traits. However, being intersex of itself does not entail better performance, whereas other physical variations that do affect performance, such as height and muscle development, are not subjected to such scrutiny and restrictions. Protection and Remedy Intersex people should be protected from violations of their rights. Whenever such violations occur, they should be investigated and alleged perpetrators prosecuted. Victims should have access to effective remedy, including redress and compensation. Intersex people should also be consulted in the development of legislation and policies that impact on their rights. Positive developments In 2013, Australia adopted the Sex Discrimination Amendment (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Intersex Status) Act – the first law to include intersex status as a stand-alone prohibited ground of discrimination. The Australian Senate has also carried out an official inquiry into the involuntary or coerced sterilization of intersex people. In 2015, Malta adopted the Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Sex Characteristics Act – the first law to prohibit surgery and treatment on the sex characteristics of minors without informed consent. It also prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex characteristics. Action points States: » Prohibit medically unnecessary surgery and procedures on the sex characteristics of intersex children, protect their physical integrity and respect their autonomy. » Ensure that intersex people and their families receive adequate counselling and support, including from peers. » Prohibit discrimination on the basis of intersex traits, characteristics or status, including in education, health care, employment, sports and access to public services, and address such discrimination through relevant anti-discrimination initiatives. » Ensure that human rights violations against intersex people are investigated and alleged perpetrators prosecuted, and that victims of such violations have access to effective remedy, including redress and compensation. » National human rights bodies should research and monitor the human rights situation of intersex people. » Enact laws to provide for facilitated procedures to amend sex markers on the birth certificates and official documents of intersex people. » Provide health care personnel with training on the health needs and human rights of intersex people and the appropriate advice and care to give to parents and intersex children, being respectful of the intersex person’s autonomy, physical integrity and sex characteristics. » Ensure that members of the judiciary, immigration officers, law enforcement, healthcare, education and other officials and personnel are trained to respect and provide equal treatment to intersex persons. » Ensure that intersex people and organizations are consulted and participate in the development of research, legislation and policies that impact on their rights. Media: » Include the voices of intersex people and groups in newspaper, TV and radio coverage. » Give an objective and balanced picture of intersex people and their human rights concerns. » Do not make assumptions about the sexual orientation or gender identity of intersex people. You, your friends and other individuals can make a difference too: » Speak out when you see any form of discrimination or violence against intersex people. » Remember that intersex people may have any sexual orientation and gender identity. https://anunnakiray.com/united-nations-intersex-fact-sheet/
Can an intersex (hermaphrodite) person both get pregnant and impregnate?
Marianne Quix, studied at VU University AmsterdamAnswered 4 years ago · Author has 417 answers and 3M answer viewsOriginally Answered: Can a Hermaphrodite get pregnant and impregnate a woman at the same time?
No. Hermaphrodites actually tend to be infertile. (Except for species that are naturally hermaphrodites, like snails.) With humans, this is called intersex and these humans can actually have tissue related to ovaries and to testicles!
In the past, people with this condition would often end up in surgery real fast, sometimes even shortly after birth. These surgeries are about to be outlawed all over the world and have already been illegal in a few countries, including Malta. But because of these kinds of surgery, we still don’t have an intersex person who does seem to be fertile.
There have been a few legal cases in the past where intersex people would sue doctors for making the gender decision for them. This case is one of them: Parents Sue Doctors For Deciding Their Kid Is A Girl A boy was in foster care and doctors decided for him that he would have to live as a girl. Once adopted, he developed a gender identity crisis as he felt he was a boy instead so he and his adoptive parents decided to sue the doctors for genital mutilation.
But gender isn’t black and white. There are, for example, women who are born with a vaginal opening and a clitoris shaped like a penis. And it can become stiff, yet they are basically as fertile as normal women. Only difference is just a small external characteristics. The same with men, as they can develop breasts and a smaller-than-average penis. (Or even a micropenis.) Yet they can still be fertile as a man. But in-between you have a spectrum of intersex people who are infertile as the body has a hormonal imbalance and the gonads haven’t developed in either ovaries or testicles. And the womb or prostate might have developed the wrong way too.
The womb tends to be the biggest issue as it turns into a prostate for men. And this prostate is required to secrete a slightly alkaline fluid that forms about 30% of the male semen. But if the prostate is a womb instead, that won’t work. And women need a womb to carry the fetus. So it depends on how far these organs have developed.
In theory, a person could be intersex with one testicle and one ovary and have a womb. The lack of the prostate will prevent an ejaculation but the tsticle might still release semen into the womb and if there’s an egg there that arrived from the ovary then they would have impregnated themselves. But the hormonal imbalance is likely to prevent ovulation and would cause other problems.
In snails, two snails will fight one another until one submits. That one becomes the female and will have to spend energy to lay eggs. The other will continue to find another snail and fight again. And as long has he wins, he will impregnate other snails. Once he loses, he himself will have to lay eggs.
And abandon them when done, but laying eggs takes a bit more energy than depositing sperm… https://www.quora.com/Can-an-intersex-hermaphrodite-person-both-get-pregnant-and-impregnate
